Welcome to the weirdest, most unexpectedly wholesome romantic journey of your life. Date Everything! takes dating simulation to glorious, absurd new heights. Imagine falling in love with your toaster. Now multiply that by a hundred. That’s the world you’re stepping into.
What is Date Everything!?
Date Everything! is a sandbox dating simulator where practically everything in your flat is fair game for love Developed with humor, heart, and a whole lot of surreal creativity, this title offers players a truly unique romantic experience from the comfort of their in-game home.
With 100+ fully voice-acted characters, ranging from your blanket to a looming sense of existential dread, it’s a game that invites players to explore romance in ways they’ve never imagined.
A Dating Sim Unlike Any Other
Romance Without Boundaries
Date Everything! is different from other dating sims in that you chase after human people in normal places like schools or cafés. stays right at home—literally. Your romantic targets include:
- Household objects
- Sounds and smells
- Emotions and abstract concepts
- Unconventional presences (yes, even your own shadow)
- 100+ Unique, Voice-Acted Characters
Every “character” in the game is fully voice acted, giving depth and personality to things you’ve never thought would talk—let alone flirt. These characters have complex dialogue trees, multiple endings, and reactions based on your choices.
The Power of Personality in Inanimate Objects
From Smoke Alarms to Toasters: A Cast Breakdown
The real magic in Date Everything! lies in its brilliantly absurd yet strangely touching character roster. Here are just a few datable “beings”:
- Your Bed – Comforting yet clingy
- The Smoke Alarm – High-strung and alert
- Houseplant – Quiet, nurturing, but passive-aggressive
- Ceiling Fan – Cool and distant
Each character comes with a story arc, likes/dislikes, and a surprising amount of depth.
Yes, You Can Romance Existential Dread
One of the fan-favorites is “Overwhelming Sense of Existential Dread.” It’s voiced with sincerity and written with heart. It’s a perfect example of how the game turns abstract emotions into companions with genuine emotional arcs. This isn’t just parody—it’s performance art.
Gameplay Overview
Navigating Romance From Your Bedroom
You never leave your apartment. Instead, you interact with characters throughout your home by:
- Clicking on objects
- Choosing dialogue options
- Unlocking story branches based on decisions
Your choices determine relationship status, emotional outcomes, and multiple endings per character.
Decision-Making, Dialogue, and Dynamic Reactions
The game features a dialogue system that adjusts based on how you speak to each entity. The tone, pace, and timing all affect reactions—just like in real relationships. This leads to:
Unlockable dialogue branches
- Secret story paths
- Romantic, tragic, or comedic endings
- The Voice Acting Magic
- Bringing Beds and Brooms to Life
One of the strongest elements in Date Everything! is the stellar voice acting. Each actor fully embraces their character, no matter how bizarre.
- Toilet Brush – Snobby British accent
- Wall Clock – Constantly late but deeply philosophical
- Dish Towel – Tired, overworked, and emotionally complex
The performances turn satire into sincerity.
Comedic Timing and Emotional Punch
The humor never feels forced. There are puns, emotional deception, and even an existential crisis in it. You’ll laugh one minute and unexpectedly tear up the next.
Themes and Tone
Satirical, Surreal, and Surprisingly Thought-Provoking
The game mocks dating sim tropes but also celebrates emotional connection. It’s satire that occasionally gets too real. Themes include:
- The loneliness of routine
- The comfort of familiarity
- The fear of irrelevance
- The longing for meaning in everyday life
How the Game Blends Absurdity with Real Feelings
Despite its absurd setup, Date Everything! touches on themes like depression, anxiety, and self-worth. The inanimate characters often reflect internal struggles.
How Date Everything! Pushes the Genre
Breaking the Fourth Wall – Literally
Characters often acknowledge they’re in a game, question your choices, and even comment on your gameplay habits. It’s hilariously unsettling.
Accessibility and Inclusivity in Dating Games
Date Everything! doesn’t limit players by gender, preference, or pronouns. Everyone’s welcome. It’s also playable with basic controls and includes visual accessibility settings.
System Requirements and Platform Availability
Minimum Requirements:
- OS: Windows 10
- RAM: 4 GB
- Processor: Dual Core
- Graphics: Integrated
- Storage: 2 GB space
Platform Availability:
- PC (Steam)
- Coming soon to Mac and Linux
- It’s a lightweight game that runs on most systems.
- Advice for People Who Are Dating for the First Time
Talk to Everything – Some of the most meaningful arcs come from the weirdest characters.
- Be Kind to Existential Dread – It just wants to be understood.
- Replay Often – Many characters require specific dialogue paths for romantic endings.
- Experiment with Dialogue – Sarcasm vs. sincerity makes a difference.
Don’t Skip the Alarm Clock’s Backstory – It’s tragic. Truly.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is Date Everything! a parody game?
Yes, but it’s also a genuine romantic experience. It mixes comedy and heartfelt storytelling.
2. Are there real endings or just jokes?
Absolutely! Many endings are deeply emotional, not just punchlines.
3. How many characters can you date?
Over 100 characters, each with unique voice acting and storylines.
4. Can you date multiple objects at once?
Yes! Some storylines explore polyamorous relationships.
5. Is it suitable for all ages?
It has adult comedy and themes, thus it’s classified T for teens.
Final Thoughts: Love, Laughter, and Lamps
Date Everything! is more than a joke—it’s a celebration of weirdness, love, and everything in between. It’s the rare kind of game that starts as a meme and ends as a mirror. You might come for the absurdity, but you’ll stay for the strangely touching stories.
So, are you ready to date your toaster? Your mirror? Yourself?
